Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
