Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
