Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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