i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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