Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize