we have pet lesbian snakes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize