so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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