Are we in a gay sports bar?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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