I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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