There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
