How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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