I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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