If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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