I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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