I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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