so explain again why im purple
no
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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