I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize