So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
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Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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