escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize