it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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