I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize