He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Randomize
