these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
