She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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