Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
