My friends, they love my intelligence
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
