I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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