so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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