i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
