I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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