I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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