last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
