I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize