I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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