im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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