i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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