do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
