Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
