Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
