1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
try to milk me bitch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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