It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
