Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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