YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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