I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
