I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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