she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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