took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
