should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
