hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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