And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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