No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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