I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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