its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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