Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
