in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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