she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
