Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I understand Curling. That high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize