Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
