This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
