my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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